Rollin' with the devil cos he's on my level

Okay, so since my Thai language skills basically consist of me being able to talk about if and what I ate, and where I am going (aka: nill), its obvious that I'm going to run into some problems. Figuring out who my family members are is a problem that I definitly was not expecting though.

Around here lately, people seem to be materializing out of the woodwork. Just at the beginning of last week in fact, I was sitting in the dining room watching 'Alias' episodes on my laptop, when the door opened and 11 people came in and settled down around me. Like, I'm just sitting there in the midst of all these people (all ages), some of whom are eating things, and I have no clue who they are. I recognized three of them, that I'm pretty sure are related in some way to my host dad (er, or mom...), but the others? Talk about an awkward situation, at least for me. This lasted for about 5 minutes, when they suddenly all got up, got into a van and left. Well, most of them got in the van, the others, er, apparated...? I asked P'Guy what had just happened, but he couldn't explain it in English so he told me not to worry. Sure... And then there's the cousins. I had been here for about two weeks, when two people showed up. In Thailand, where transsexuals are as common as cows on the side of the road (ie there are many boys at school who wear more makeup than I do), I wasn't sure about the sex of the first 'cousin', but the second one was definitely a woman. I asked Gift who they were, and she said they were cousins who were visiting. Well, they haven't left yet. And I think the woman works here, so I'm not sure about the whole 'relation' thing. And the other, er, 'he' dissapears for days at a time, and then shows back up at the Namyen Resort with a different woman every time, so there goes the theory that they're a couple. Neither speaks a word of English and they always smile and pat me when they see me. I call them Mystery People Numbers One and Two.

About two weeks ago, Mystery Person Number Three showed up. After carefully listening to the sounds of their conversations, I believe that his name is Guy as well as my host brother (uh... confusing much?). And I think he lives here also. I have a suspicion that he's the son of the Mystery Woman, but since she's the size of a small dwarf and he's, uh, not... I could be wrong. Around the same time 'Guy' started appearing right after lunch, Khun Ma started talking about someone named J'Hong. The thing about Thai, is that they have no distinction between 'he' and 'she', so I thought Khun Ma was talking about some dude who was coming in a few weeks. We picked up her female cousin later that day. She was pretty cool, an international pharmaceutical student, who lives like 8 hours away. I could never figure her name out though. Khun Ma continued to talk about a mysterious J'Hong and a few days ago, I finally asked her who this was. Oops. Big mistake. She was appalled. No, it was worse than that.

Because of the J'Hong incident, I'm finding that I'm just going to have to be satisfied with never knowing who these people are, and if more show up, they will go on the Mysterious Persons List. I'm pretty sure I've passed the point where I can politely ask what their names are, let alone who they belong to, and I suspect that I've been about 100 miles past this point for a while now. Sigh. Its a good thing, in this sense, that I don't speak Thai. Because I can just smile, duck my head, and run like hell for the exit when they appear on the scene and blame it on my innability to communicate.

The longer I am here, the more I am starting to learn about myself. Like, I do not take direction or orders very well. Particularly directions from people around my age, especially those that my holier-than-thou 'friends' (mostly girls) frequently try to give me. Uh, on no you didnint. It all started when the Annoying One told me that I shouldn't drink milk. I drink milk every chance I get, no matter how funny it tastes. Pia, mostly a nice girl (except when she tries to boss me) tells me not to cross my legs. I do it anyways. She tries to pull me off the grass and make me walk three feet to my left on the cement. I dodge her tenticles, because everyone knows that 'C' is the easiest way to get from point 'A' to point 'B' and I mean, there are feral dogs everwhere so how nice can the grass be? Today, I wanted to stand on the ledge of the bus, hanging onto the railing (totally not as dangerous as it sounds) on our way to a funeral (yes, another one. Story of my life) and she told me I had to get in the bus and if I didn't she wasn't going to talk to me. Pfftt, like I care. I had fun talking to this boy in my class, whose English is quite good, and sticking my head super far into the wind. After the funeral they handed out bottles of medication, because apparently the dude died of an aneurysm in his brain. Kitti told me that it was the equivalent of Tylenol, and then Pia told me that I had to ask my host parents or sister before I could take any. I opened the bottle right there and took two (in case you're wondering, my stomach is currently killing me). Now, I realize that this behavior isn't very Rotarian Exchange Student of me, but I can't help it. I think it's something in my DNA maybe. Pia tells me, and everyone else, that only woman serve the food and drink around here. You can bet your bottom dollar that I will never serve anyone. Anything. Ever. She tells me that only men smoke cigarettes; I want to go out and buy some then. I can respect the elders and get down with the Budda and most of the customs, but I am not here to become the perfect little Thai wife for someone. I feel like if I compromise my beliefs and personality in this way then I will cease to be myself and I will instead become a cyborg programmed for public servitude (Yes. Master. *zapping noise* Booger. Eliminated.). The day that Pia's comments start to make sense to me, is the day that I might as well just sign a marriage contract to the first Thai man I see. *Pukes*

Today was also the first day of school. Like I said before, I skipped for the rest of the day right after lunch (with my whole class) to go to the funeral of Short James' father (boy in M. 5.1). This morning I was twenty minutes late to school and was almost made to do jumping jacks, but I faked like I didn't know what was going on and got out of it. Heh heh heh... I went to visit with an English teacher after I escaped and she took one look at me and then told me that I looked fatter. In those exact words. She then squeezed my arm as if to make her point. Because over here muscle equals fat. Go figure.

Staring into the mirror, convinced that I haven't gained weight... But then again my uniform didn't exactly fit,
Anchellee